SMILE........248

FUNNY  ONE LINERS

The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight

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We have a history together ……and English and French also

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God is really creative, i mean…Just look at me

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Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

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If you are cute, I’m single…

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After Tuesday even the calendar goes W T F…(Wednesday, Thrusday & Friday) :D

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I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode…

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A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl, which machine I can use?” 
Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

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Stop checking my status! Go Get A Life

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I’ll marry that girl who looks pretty on her Aadhar card…

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People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.

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Someone on his status is “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s probably dead.

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Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.

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You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.

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I’m all for change as long as it doesn’t directly affect my routine.

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I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough

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I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

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I just found out there is nothing wrong with me, it’s the world that has issues…

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My phone battery dies faster than my dreams.