MIDWEEK INSPIRATION

FOUR  QUESTIONS THAT  CAN  HELP  YOU  TO  MAKE  2013  A  SIMPLER,  LIGHTER  &  HAPPIER  YEAR

Mr Henrik writes -

Here's a question that pops up often in my inbox:

"What habits should I focus on first if I want to improve my life?"

Well, in the past 7 years or so one of the simplest and most effective habits I have added to my own life is to ask myself better questions on a daily or at least weekly basis.

It is a very simple thing to do. And after you have done it for a month or so the
question tends to often pop up automatically when you need it. And over time this little thing can have a huge positive impact on your thinking and the actions you take.

In this,  I'd like to share four of the most helpful questions that I use. I
highly recommend writing down the question that resonates the most with you
right now and to put that piece of paper somewhere where you see it everyday.

1. Who cares?

This is a personal favorite of mine. So simple, a bit ruthless and decisive in a way that cuts out the stuff that really doesn't matter. Because a whole lot you imagine matters really doesn't matter that much.

So whenever you feel like delving into some nitpicking or some pettiness ask
yourself this question. Or whenever you feel an overwhelming need to be right in some discussion. Or whenever someone does those things to you.

Yes, nitpicking or having to be right can give you sort of high. You feel good. But it's a dirty high. It never lasts for long. And you just create a lot of negativity within yourself and outside of yourself in the long run.

Asking yourself "who cares?" is a way to lighten up, to not take every little thing so seriously. It is a way to be more open and relaxed with yourself and the people around you. It's simply a way to be cool about stuff and be the one who is in control of your life. 

Instead of getting derailed by every little detail.

2. Will this matter in 5 years?

This variation of the previous question can really puts things into perspective.

It can make just about any difficulty that you are having right now seem a bit

trivial and not as important and heavy as you had imagined the last few days,
weeks and months. You may discover that you had expanded a problem and made it a lot more terrifying than it actually is. 

And you may discover that you can actually solve it more easily than you thought while you were in a somewhat panicked state of mind.

3. What is one small step I can take right now to get ball rolling and to start turning this situation around?

Instead of spending too much time on dwelling on the problem or negative feelings see what you can do about the situation right now. By just getting the ball rolling in some small way by taking an action right now or today I usually feel relieved and a whole lot better.

I feel good about myself and I feel good about being on a path towards a solution or towards improving my day.

4. Can I just accept that this is how I feel right now?

Some issues you may not be able to take action on today to start resolving.

But that doesn't mean that you cannot feel better about what is happening.

I can often feel better in these difficult situations by asking the question above and by fully accepting that this is how I feel right now.

Now, it is often a natural impulse to try to deny negative feelings or thoughts

when they show up in your life. Perhaps you try to not think about them. Perhaps you try to push that feeling away.

I have found that in many cases it is actually better to just accept that the

negative feelings and thoughts are here right now (although it can be hard to

sometimes convince your brain that this is a good option as it wants to deny or
reject what is).

By accepting that you feel this way and that these thoughts are floating in your
mind you stop feeding more energy into them and you stop making them
strong. After a few minutes of fully taking in this uncomfortable feeling and
thoughts and accepting that they are indeed here then they start to lose steam.
They just seem to float away. 

And you once again feel more open and are able to think more clearly.