சிரிப்பு ஞானம் -19

GOVERNMENT  JOB

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.


To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

The Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured
Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
Ate the cookies........
Drank the milk.....
Sh*t on the paper.......
Screwed the other three cats........
Claimed he injured his back while doing so.
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.
Put in for Workers Compensation.
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave..


AND THAT  IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!


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SPEAKING TO A CHINESE TELEPHONE OPERATOR

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator: Yes, you can speak to me Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him, Little boy : "teacher are you sleeping in class?" Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class." Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?" Teacher : " I was talking to God." The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walksup to him. Teacher : "young man, you are sleeping in my class." Little boy : "No not me sir, I am not sleeping." Angry teacher: "What were you doing?" Little boy : "I was talking to God." Angry teacher: "What did he say?" Little boy : "God said he never spoke to you yesterday." *****************************************************************