SMILE....200

Some gems (fun) from job applications...
===============================================
Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

================================================== Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a position which allows me to make use of my commuter skills."

I think we can oblige.

================================================== Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."

Sounds uncomfortable.

==================================================
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."

We can hardly wait.

==================================================
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."

We'll try not to let it go to our heads.

==================================================
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."

Good luck with that.
==================================================
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting and transactions rigistering."

But limited experience with the spell-check function.

==================================================
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."

If you insist.

==================================================
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption."

Yum.

==================================================
Skills: "Grate communication skills."

Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

==================================================
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh ...

==================================================
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."

Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?

==================================================
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
==================================================
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."

Did you minor in ear piercing?
==================================================
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."

We're pretty shocked already ...

==================================================
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."

Glad to hear it.

==================================================
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

==================================================
Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."

That should help with the flow of information.