Friday 30 November 2012

EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT


A UNIQUE CONCEPT FOR STRONG RELATIONSHIP

When it comes to improving and maintaining our relationships with others, Stephen Covey's metaphor of the Emotional Bank Account is probably one of the most powerful ideas ever created for the development of interpersonal relationships. If you've never heard of this, it basically means that anyone with whom we have a relationship with, whether it be our coworkers, family or friends, we maintain a personal "emotional" bank account with them. This account begins on a neutral balance. And just as with any bank account, we can make deposits and withdrawals. However, instead of dealing with units of monetary value, we deal with emotional units.

The emotional units that Covey speaks of are centered around trust. When we make emotional deposits into someone's bank account, their fondness, trust, and confidence in us grows. And as a result our relationship develops and grows. If we can keep a positive reserve in our relationships, by making regular deposits, there will be greater tolerance for our mistakes and we'll enjoy open communication with that person. On the contrary, when we make withdrawals and our balance becomes low or even overdrawn, bitterness, mistrust and discord develops. If we are to salvage the relationship, we must make a conscious effort to make regular deposits.

This post will discuss Covey's six major ways of making deposits into these Emotional Bank Accounts and how we can avoid making withdrawals.

1. Understanding the Individual

In Covey's book, seven habits of highly effective people, one of the seven habits is "seek first to understand then to be understood". Truly understanding what others are feeling is not always that easy. We must remove ourselves from our egocentric viewpoint and put ourselves into the minds and shoes of others. I say minds and shoes because we must try to first understand the thought patterns and second walk in their shoes or empathize with them.

One of my major faults when communicating with others is, while they are talking I tend to think what I am going to say next. Truly understanding someone requires us to wholly and completely concentrate on what the other person is trying to say, not reloading, just waiting to fire off your response

2. Keeping Commitments

Certainly when we break our promises to others, we make major withdrawals from their Emotional Bank Accounts. However, keeping commitments is not just relegated to promises. It also includes things such as arriving to work and appointments on time, fulfilling our duties, and living up to every word that comes out of our mouth.

3. Clarifying Expectations

There is nothing more frustrating in a relationship than not understanding what is expected of you. Although many of us wish we could be, we are not mind readers. And because each of us sees life differently and has different backgrounds and life experiences, expecting someone to just "know" is not only unfair but completely unrealistic. It's important that the person with whom you are dealing with, knows exactly what is expected of them. Doing this will keep them out of the dark and allow them to relate you confidently, knowing that what they are doing is in line with your expectations.

4. Attending to the Little Things

Little courtesies, kind words and warm smiles are at the heart of the little things that brighten up a relationship. It shows recognition and an awareness of others. It's interesting, but within our relationships, if you want success, it's the little things that really become the big things.

5. Showing Personal Integrity

Nothing is probably more damaging to a relationship, then a lack of integrity. Being that the Emotional Bank Account is based upon trust, you could essentially be doing all of the previous things, but without trust, it is to no avail. Integrity means wholeness, completeness, or soundness. In this case soundness of moral character. Integrity is the rock-solid foundation upon which all successful relationships are built.

6. Apologizing Sincerely When We Make a Withdrawal

Granted, we are all mortal. We make mistakes. That's part of life and learning. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting your mistakes prevents the wounds that you've caused in others from festering and allows them to heal. When appropriate, sincere apology will keep your relationships accounts in the positive, allowing you to maintain the balance that has been created in your application of all of the previous steps


மேட்டூர் அணை


 மேட்டூர் அணை நீரில் மூழ்கியிருந்த நந்தி சிலை, ஜலகண்டேஸ்வரர் கோவில் கோபுரம் மற்றும் சர்ச் கோபுரம், எட்டு ஆண்டுகளுக்கு பின், முழுமையாக நீருக்கு வெளியே காட்சியளிக்கின்றன.


மேட்டூர் அணை கட்டும் முன், நீர்பரப்பு பகுதியில் ஏராளமான கிராமங்கள் இருந்தன. வழிபாட்டுக்காக கட்டப்பட்ட ஜலகண்டேஸ்வரர் கோவில், அதன் அருகில் நந்தி சிலை, அங்கிருந்து, 1 கி.மீ., தொலைவில் சர்ச் ஆகியவை கட்டப்பட்டிருந்தன.அணை கட்டி நீர் தேக்குவதற்காக, கிராம மக்கள் அங்கிருந்து வெளியேற்றப்பட்டனர். ஆனால், குடியிருப்புகள், வழிபாட்டு தலங்கள் அப்படியே இருந்தன.மொத்தம், 120 அடி கொண்ட மேட்டூர் அணையின் நீர் மட்டம், 82 அடியாக குறையும் போது, சர்ச் இரட்டை கோபுர முகப்பும்; 69 அடியாக குறையும் போது, நந்தி சிலை தலையும் வெளியில் தெரியும்.

 2004ம் ஆண்டு, நீர்மட்டம், 29 அடியாக குறைந்ததால், நந்தி சிலை, சர்ச் கோபுரம் முழுமையாக தெரிந்தது.எட்டு ஆண்டுக்கு பின், தற்போது, மேட்டூர் அணை நீர் மட்டம், 47 அடியாக குறைந்த நிலையில், அணை நீரில் மூழ்கியிருந்த நந்தி சிலை, ஜலகண்டேஸ்வர் கோவில் கோபுர முகப்பு, சர்ச் கோபுரம் ஆகியவை, நீருக்கு வெளியே, முழுமையாக தெரிகின்றன. 

சேலம் மாவட்டம் உள்பட, பல்வேறு பகுதிகளில் இருந்தும் வரும், சுற்றுலா பயணிகள், ஆவலுடன் பார்த்து செல்கின்றனர்.

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காவிரி நதி நீர் பகிர்வு குறித்து, கர்நாடக முதல்வருடன் பேச்சு நடத்தி, சென்னை திரும்பிய, முதல்வர் ஜெயலலிதா கூறியதாவது: சம்பா சாகுபடிக்கு, 65 நாள்தண்ணீர் தேவைப்படுகிறது. இதற்கு, 30 டி.எம்.சி., தண்ணீரை திறந்துவிட வேண்டும் என, கர்நாடக அரசைக் கேட்டுக் கொண்டோம். 

ஆனால், ஒரு சொட்டுத் தண்ணீரைக் கூடத் தர முடியாது என, கர்நாடகம் தெரிவித்து விட்டது.எனவே, தமிழகத்துக்கு காவிரி நீரை அளிக்க வேண்டும் என, சுப்ரீம் கோர்ட்டை, இன்றே அணுகுகிறோம். 


இதைத் தவிர வேறு வழியில்லை.

இவ்வாறு, ஜெயலலிதா கூறினார்

நன்றி - தினமலர் 

THE 3 'Cs' TO AVOID


Peace of mind is something that we all crave for. We cannot achieve this state without putting effort. After all, peace of mind is not something that can be procured by spending money or by force. The mind needs to be balanced and in equilibrium before it can reach that state. For the mind to be balanced, we have several 'dos' and 'don'ts' to follow. Given below are three 'don'ts' which go a long way to achieve that state. They are described as the three Cs.


Criticizing: The first C is criticizing. It is one of the most natural talents that we all have. J Our minds seem to be tuned to find fault and spot blemishes. Many a times, we see problems where none exist. It is as if our minds have the uncanny knack of identifying a problem. At the same time, our tongues are eager to let others know of our 'superiority' in being able to articulate those problems. When we criticize thus, unnecessarily, we are unknowingly building resistance as well as enemies. These lead to unwarranted arguments and attempts to prove a point. Moreover, our minds which get clouded in negativity refuse to let us reach the state of equilibrium.



 Complaining: The other C is similar to the first C and yet more damaging. Complaining is taking criticism to a higher level and almost results in condemning others. As long as it is constructive in nature and comes with intent to resolve and rectify, it is still bearable. What takes the cake is complaining which sounds like whining. It is other extreme of appreciating. It creates a huge negative whirlpool from which we are unable to extricate ourselves. We also carry the feelings of hurt and annoyance in our minds which prevents us from experiencing bliss.

Comparing: Another C which we seem to be unable to avoid is the comparison bug. It is almost like a virus which is in the air. Many of us are comparing all the time - ourselves with those around us. It could be about anything - wealth, friends, physique, job, dogs, appliances etc. It gives us momentary pleasure when we see others in a worse situation than us and also give us sleepless nights when we see others enjoying more than us. Comparison is a never ending maze where people get lost and unable to recover their bearings. It is a method of inventing joy / sorrow out of nothing.

These three Cs are best avoided and conscious efforts taken to prevent ourselves from getting entrapped here. It would be a good idea to ask one of our close spiritual friends to help us in the process. If someone were to remind us each time we use these Cs, it will help us tremendously in making course corrections. Over time, we might become habituated to completely avoid them and progress towards the much coveted state of peace in our minds.

Thursday 29 November 2012

QUESTIONS


10 QUESTIONS THAT WILL IMPROVE RESULTS IN ANY AREA 

- Royale Scuderi

The only foolish question is the one that was never asked!
When you begin any project, are trying to make a change in your life, or are faced with a difficult undertaking, the best way to improve your result is to ask the important questions first. If you are working as part of a team, some questions may need to be asked of others. When working towards an individual goal, you will be the one giving the answers.
Ask, ask, ask — until you're confident that you have a firm understanding. Don't wait until you're stuck and spinning your wheels. Ask the questions and find the answers first!
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. – Anthony Robbins

Questions

Why am I doing this?
It's important to understand the reason behind anything you undertake. Whether it's a goal, task, habit, or project, "why am I doing this?" should be the first question you ask yourself. Understanding the reason behind the actions can be a tremendous motivator.
What is the desired outcome?
Without being clear about the desired result, you can't plan how to get there. Identify what you're trying to accomplish and exactly what that will look like. Clarity is key. Vague targets are rarely attained. Defined and tangible objectives have much greater success.
When is the deadline and are there periodic checkpoints?
Know when the action or project needs to be complete. Be aware of any phases or interim deadlines along the way. If you know how much time you have to work with, you can better plan backwards and set aside the necessary amount of time.
What is my role?
Understanding your role is crucial. Are you the leader or a worker bee? Are you a researcher or a communicator? Are you a team coordinator or planner? It's important to know which role you play so you can align your actions. If it is an individual undertaking, then you are most likely all of the above.
Who is responsible or accountable for which tasks or projects?
This is related your role, but in a more specific and tangible way. Determine which specific tasks you are personally responsible for. Know who maintains accountability. Perhaps you are the one whom others are accountable. Define your responsibilities.
Do I have metrics or some form of measurement?
Establish a measurement of success, so that progress can be determined. If metrics are set by someone else, know what they are and if there is any flexibility.
What are the possible roadblocks or obstacles?
We almost always encounter snags along the way to completion. However, difficulties can more easily be overcome if we can prepare for them. It's not always possible to prepare, complications by their very nature, are frequently unforeseen, but if you at least try to anticipate potential setbacks, they can often be resolved quickly.
What are the available resources?
Be aware of what resources are available. Be cognizant of the number of people involved or accessible to you and their skills. Be honest about the amount of time that can be committed. Also, understand if there are financial constraints.
How important is this project or task?
The importance of any goal or project determines how much attention and effort it deserves. Higher priority items get moved to the top of the list, while less crucial tasks can often be pushed back. If a project affects the profitability of a business or the health and well-being of an individual, it usually gets top priority.
What can I do to be more effective?
Develop strategies to help you be more efficient and productive. Improve the quality of your work by utilizing useful and  effective tools. Better organizational skills greatly enhance effectiveness. Learn to be resourceful.

LETTER FROM DAD


Following is a letter by a Father to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster/Child Psychologist. The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, Children or parents.! This applies to daughters too. All parents can use this in their teachings to their children.


Dear son ,
I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons :  
  • Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable; nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.
  • I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will
  • What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. 

Remember the following as you go through life:
 
1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. 

To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. 

When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.
  
2. No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must possess. Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people
 around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.
 
3.Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.  

4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.
 
5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!
 
6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.
 
7. You honor your words, but don't expect others to do so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.
 
8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!
 
9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.   



With Love,
 Your Dad






Wednesday 28 November 2012

MIDWEEK INSPIRATION


ATTITUDES  &  EMOTIONS

When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don't want it to be done and when we are not able to accept it, we become angry.   
However, when someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don't want it to be done – and we are able to accept it – We remain tolerant.
When someone has something which we don't have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce – and we are not able to accept it – we become jealous.   
When someone has something which we don't have or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce and we are able to accept it we get inspired.
When Someone is present in our thoughts, but if not physically present and we are not able to accept it – We say 'I am missing you'.   

When someone is present in our thoughts, but not physically present – and we are able to accept it – We say 'I am thinking of you'.

Then emotional equation is quite simple.

Something + Acceptance         =  Positive Emotion
Something + Non Acceptance  =  Negative Emotion

So, it is not 'Something' or 'someone' who is making us feel positive or negative, but it is our 'acceptance' or 'non acceptance' of something or someone, which is making us feel positive or negative.    

It isn't the world but the quality of our response to the world (acceptance or non acceptance) that determines the quality of our emotions.

Next time we feel disturbed with a negative emotion, instead of asking who or what is disturbing us, we will examine who or what we are resisting (not accepting) that is causing this disturbance in us. We will replace resistance (non acceptance) with acceptance, and the negative emotion will turn into a positive one.

Emotional management begins by stopping to blame that 'something' or 'someone' and starting to take the responsibility to respond to life with 'acceptance' .

‘கங்னம் ’ ராப் பாடல்



தென் கொரிய ராப் பாடகர் சை (PSY) படைப்பில் உருவான கங்னம் ஸ்டைல் (Gangnam Style) பாடல் வீடியோ, யூடியூப்பில் இதுவரை அதிக தடவை பார்க்கப்பட்ட வீடியோ என்ற சாதனையை படைத்துள்ளது. கடந்த ஜூலையில் யூடியூப்பில் இணைக்கப்பட்ட கங்னம் ஸ்டைல் பாடல் வீடியோ, கடந்த  ஞாயிற்றுக்கிழமை நிலவரப்படி 820 மில்லியன் ஹிட்டுகளைக் கடந்துவிட்டது.

இந்த பாடல் வீடியோ வெளியான உடனேயே, Gaon Chartல் முதலிடத்துக்கு சென்றது. தென்கொரிய தேசிய விற்பனைக்கான அளவுகோல் சார்ட் அது. அதன்பின் தற்போது, யூடியூப்பில் இதுவரை அதிக தடவை பார்க்கப்பட்ட வீடியோ என்ற சாதனையை படைத்துள்ளது.

பாடலின் தீம் மிகவும் சிம்பிளானது. ஒரு விதத்தில் சொன்னால், நையாண்டி பாடல் இது. வடகொரிய தலைநகர் சோல் (Seoul) அருகேயுள்ள கங்னம் மாவட்ட மக்களின் வாழ்க்கை முறையை கிண்டல் செய்கிறது பாடல். பொதுவாகவே தென் கொரியா முழுவதும் பரவலாக உள்ள neologism, இதில் கிணடலடிக்கப்படுகிறது.





இதற்கு முன்பு கனடாவின் பிரபல பாப் டீன் ஸ்டார் Justin Bieberன் ‘பேபி’ என்ற வீடியோதான் யூடியூப்பில் அதிகம் பார்க்கப்பட்ட வீடியோ என்ற சாதனையை படைத்திருந்தது.

சிரிப்பு ஞானம் -19


GOVERNMENT  JOB

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.


To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

The Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured
Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
Ate the cookies........
Drank the milk.....
Sh*t on the paper.......
Screwed the other three cats........
Claimed he injured his back while doing so.
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.
Put in for Workers Compensation.
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave..


AND THAT  IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!


***************************************

SPEAKING TO A CHINESE TELEPHONE OPERATOR


Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him,

Little boy : "teacher are you sleeping in class?"

Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class."

Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?"


Teacher : " I was talking to God."

The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walksup to him.

Teacher : "young man, you are sleeping in my class."

Little boy : "No not me sir, I am not sleeping."

Angry teacher: "What were you doing?"

Little boy : "I was talking to God."

Angry teacher: "What did he say?"

Little boy : "God said he never spoke to you yesterday."

*****************************************************************







Tuesday 27 November 2012

POSTER OF THIS WEEK


SAGITTARIUS


NOVEMBER 23   to  DECEMBER  21

(Stars - Lambda, Delta Sagittari & Sigma Sagittari )

(மூலம், பூராடம்,உத்திராடம் முதல் பாதம்) 

YOU ARE.....


You are strong...
when you take your grief
and teach it to smile.

You are brave...
when you overcome your fear and
help others to do the same.

You are happy...
when you see a flower and
are thankful for the blessing.

You are loving...
when your own pain does not
blind you to the pain of others.

You are wise...
when you know the
limits of your wisdom.

You are true...
when you admit there
are times you fool yourself.

You are alive...
when tomorrow's hope
means more to you than yesterday's mistake.

You are growing...
when you know what you are
but not what you will become.

You are free...
when you are in control of yourse
lf and do not wish to control others.

You are honorable...
when you find your honor
is to honor others.

You are generous...
when you can take as
sweetly as you can give.

You are humble...
when you do not know
how humble you are.

You are thoughtful...
when you see me just as
I am and treat me just as you are.

You are merciful...
when you forgive in others
the faults you condemn in yourself.

You are beautiful...
when you don't need
a mirror to tell you.

You are rich...
when you never need
more than what you have.

You are you...
when you are at peace
with who you are not.




Monday 26 November 2012

Socrates' triple filter


In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No not really …"

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"


This is why Socrates was a great philosopher & held in such high esteem

Sunday 25 November 2012

இன்று படித்தது - 14


ஓஷோவின் வெற்றுப்படகு என்ற புத்தகத்திலிருந்து....


சாக்ரடீஸ் மிகவும் ஆழமாக , ஒவ்வொன்றையும் மிகவும் நுண்ணியமாகத் தெரிந்துகொள்வதற்கான கேள்விகளைக் கேட்டு வந்தார் . இதனால் ஏதென்ஸ் நகரிலுள்ள மக்கள் கோபமடைந்தார்கள் . சாக்ரடீஸ் மற்றவர்களை முட்டாளாக்குவதற்கான முயற்சியைச் செய்து கொண்டிருந்தார் . அவர்கள் சாக்ரடீஸைக் கொன்றனர். சாக்ரடீஸ் வாழ்ந்த காலத்தில் சீனாவில் சுவாங்தஸ¤ வாழ்ந்து வந்தார் . சாக்ரடீஸ் , சுவாங்தஸ¤ வைச் சந்தித்திருந்தால், இந்த ரகசியத்தைச் சொல்லியிருப்பார் .

" யாரையும் முட்டாளாக்க முயற்சி செய்யாதே , ஏனெனில் முட்டாள்கள் அதை விரும்புவதில்லை ,பைத்தியக் காரனிடம் அவன் பைத்தியம் என்பதை நிரூபிக்காதே , ஏனெனில்எந்தப் பைத்தியமும் அதை விரும்புவதில்லை , கோபமடைவான் , ஆத்திரமடைந்து உன்னைக்கொல்ல வருவான் , நீ அவனை விட உயர்ந்தவன் என்பது நிரூபிக்கப்பட்டால் , அவன் உடனே பழிவாங்கி விடுவான் . நீ முட்டாளாக இருப்பது நல்லது , அப்பொழுது மற்றவர்கள் உன்னைப் பார்த்து சந்தோசம் அடைவர். இந்த நுணுக்கமான வழிமுறை மூலம் நீ மற்றவர்களை மாற்ற முடியும் , பிறகு உனக்கு எதிராக அவர்கள் இருக்க மாட்டார்கள் ."


இதனால் தான் கீழை நாடுகளில் , முக்கியமாக இந்தியா , சீனா ,ஜப்பான் போன்ற நாடுகளில் கிரேக்க நாட்டில் சாக்ரடீஸை விஷமிட்டுக் கொன்றது போன்ற அசிங்கமான சமபவங்கள் நிகழவில்லை , இது ஜெருசலேமில் நிகழ்ந்தது - இயேசு சிலுவையில் அறையப்பட்டார் .இது ஈரானில் , எகிப்தில் மற்ற நாடுகளில் நிகழ்ந்தது - அனேக புத்திசாலிகள் கொல்லப்பட்டார்கள். இது மாதிரியான நிகழ்ச்சிகள் இந்தியாவிலோ , சீனாவிலோ ,ஜப்பானிலோ ஏற்படவில்லை . ஏனெனில் இந்த மூன்று நாடுகளிலும் உள்ள மக்கள் புத்திசாலியான மனிதனைப் போல் நடந்து கொள்வது பெருந்துன்பங்களை விளைவிக்கும் என்பதை உணர்ந்திருந்தார்கள் .









முட்டாளைப் போல , பைத்தியக்காரனைப் போல நடந்து கொள்ளுங்கள் . இது தான் புத்தி சாலியின் முதல் படியாகும் , அப்பொழுது தான் நீங்கள் அவனைக் கண்டு பயப்படமாட்டீர்கள் . நீங்கள் எதற்கும் அலட்டிக் கொள்ளாமல் அமைதியாக இருப்பீர்கள் .

Saturday 24 November 2012

WEEKEND WISDOM



TIPS  FOR  PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL  LIFE

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. 


Six ways to make people like you.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person.
the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely. 



Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 
"You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge. 



A leader's job often includes changing your people's 
attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

DECISION MAKING




  • STRATEGIES  TO  MAKE  BETTER  DECISIONS
  • Involve colleagues who see the world differently from you.
  • Fight the temptation to solve today's problem with yesterdays solution
  • Solve problems with a win-win orientation
  • Solicit information from individuals affected by the decision
  • Make sure you are solving the right problem
  • Consider as many solution as possible.
  • Realize that even the best solution may open the door to new problems.
  • If you are using hard data as the basis of your decision, verify the numbers.
  • When you make a decision affecting others, share the reason behind the decision.Think in terms of satisfying, not optimization.          
  • Ask a lot of questions.Learn from prior decisions   
  • Ask for criticism.
  • Recognize your personal decision making biase