HUSBAND - WIFE

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

                                                  
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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.

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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.

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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents

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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

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Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force...
Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.


WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you