WEEKEND WISDOM

5 Quick Questions for a Simpler Life

                                                                                         - Henrik

"The one who asks questions doesn't lose his way"

                                                                  - African Proverb

Creating the habit of asking myself better questions on a daily basis is one of the most helpful things I have done for myself.

It is a very simple thing to do and after you have done so for a month or so the

question tends to often pop up automatically when you need it. And over time this 

little thing can have a huge positive impact.

Today I'd like share 5 of my favorite questions that I use to simplify my life and to keep it simple.

1. If I was just told that I had to go away for a conference tomorrow

and it would last for a whole week then what would I spend today doing?

This is a wonderful question that quickly helps you get your priorities in check.

If you feel lost at the start of your week or day or get lost in busy work then stop. Then ask yourself this question to refocus on the absolutely most important.

2. Who cares?

A very simple but a very powerful question. Whenever you feel like delving

into some nitpicking or some pettiness ask yourself this question. Or use

it whenever you feel an overwhelming need to be right in some discussion.

Yes, nitpicking or having to be right can give you sort of high. You feel good.

But it's a dirty high. It never lasts for long. And you just create a lot of

negativity in the long run outside of yourself and within yourself as your

self-esteem goes down.

Asking yourself "who cares?" is a way to lighten up, to not take every little

thing so seriously. It's a way be more open and relaxed with yourself and

the people around you. It's simply a way to be cool about stuff.

3. Am I right here, right now?

This is one can be very helpful.

Both because it's very easy to slip out of the present moment and back

into negative and pointless thought loops about the past/future. And because

it's very beneficial to spend pretty as much of the time in your day as possible

in the now. Why? A couple of important reasons:

• Improved social skills.
• Improved creativity.
• You appreciate your world more.
• Stress release.
• Less worry-warting and overthinking.
• Openness.

If I find I'm not in the present moment I reconnect with it by for instance:

• Belly breathing. I take belly breaths and just focus on my breathing for
  a minute.
  
  
• Keeping the focus on the current external surroundings
  for minute. For example right now, I can look out of my window and
  see the buss traveling up the hill next to my house. I see the plants in
  my window that are growing well in the summer warmth. I hear
  the humming of the computer-fan and the sound of the traffic going by. I
  feel that the floor is pretty warm. I use my senses to take in the world
  around me right now and to reconnect with the present moment.
  
  
• Taking action. Taking action and doing things - especially things you love
  doing - tends to put you in the present moment a lot of the time. It
  works pretty well for me at least.

4. Will this matter in 5 years?

This one can really puts things into perspective. It can make just about

any difficulty that you are having right now seem a bit trivial and not as 

important and heavy as you had imagined the last few days, weeks and months. 

You may discover that you had expanded a problem and made it a lot more

terrifying than it actually is. And you may discover that you can actually solve it more easily than you thought while you were in a somewhat panicked state of mind.

5. Can I let this go?

So much of our time is often spent not here but in the past. We relive old conflicts and arguments. We replay negative situations that may have happened last week or a really long time ago.

A terrible thing about this is how it is considered such a normal thing. People just do it day after day and in many cases year after year. It is a horrible waste of energy and the time you have here.

In some cases you may have to take action to resolve an old situation and get

closure. You perhaps bring up the situation with the people involved to get them to understand and for you to better understand them too. And/or maybe you apologize or forgive.

But in many cases you can just let it go. Well, just letting it go is perhaps

something of an oversimplification. But a few steps that have helped me to become better at letting go are these:

• Be ready to give up the benefits of not letting go. You may not want
  to let go because it makes you feel superior to someone else or because it
  makes you feel like a victim and so you receive attention and sympathy. To 
  

  let go you have give up benefits like these.

  
  
  
  
  

  
  
• Accept it and then let go. I like acceptance. I like it because when you
  accept something instead of resisting it you stop feeding more energy into
  your problem and making it even bigger. A bit counter-intuitive. This is also 
  

  useful when it comes to letting go. If you first accept what you want to let go 

  
  

  you aren't so emotionally attached to it and still feeding it with your focus 

  
  

  and energy. And so it becomes less powerful and easier to just drop. As long 

  
  

  as you resist it then it will be hard to let it go.
  
  
• Let it go if it shows up again. In my experience it's pretty common that
  what you let go shows up in your thoughts again. And that's OK. Just let it go 
  

  each time it shows up. After a while it stops showing up.

I hope that these questions can help you to live a simpler and lighter life too!