TURN SMALL TALK INTO DEEPER CONVERSATION

 

1. Stop conversation-killer questions
1. How are you?
2. What do you do?
3. Where are you from?
4. How about the weather?
2. Ask dopamine trigger questions. Dopamine is a pleasure hormone. These questions push your partner’s pleasure buttons and you become more memorable:
1. Going on a vacation anywhere? Why did you choose it?
2. What’s the highlight of the day?
3. What’s one goal for the new year?

Here are two examples from Sue Shellenbarger‘s article “Spare yourself from tedious small talk”:

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OPENER: “This hot weather is killing me.”

SMALL TALK REPLY: “Me too, I can’t wait until it cools off.”

BETTER: “Do you think the weather affects people’s moods or job performance?”

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OPENER: “I just moved here two months ago.”

SMALL TALK REPLY: “I’ve been here 10 years.”

BETTER: “What has it been like getting used to a new city?”

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Transactional vs. relationship-building conversation by David Ganago