A patient wakes up from surgery.
The doctor walks in and says, “Well, I’ve got bad news and good news. Which would you like first?”
The patient says, “Hmm. Well give me the bad news first so that the good news brings me back up. I’m big on positive thinking.”
The doctor says, “Sure. Well, the bad news is, we had to amputate both of your legs.”
“But the good news is, the guy down the hall wants to buy your shoes.”
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