Wednesday, 17 August 2022

LEFT HAND DICTIONARY

 


School

A place where Parents pay and 

children play


*Life Insurance* 

A contract that keeps you poor

 all your life, so that you can die Rich. 


Nurse: 

A person who wakes you up 

to give you sleeping pills. 


Marriage 

It's an agreement in which a man loses

 his bachelor degree and a woman

 gains her masters.. 


Tears

The hydraulic force by which

 masculine 

willpower is defeated by

 feminine waterpower.


Lecture 

An art of transferring information

 from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes

 of the students without passing

 through "the minds of either" 


Conference 

The confusion of one man

 multiplied by the number present. 


Conference Room 

A place where everybody talks

, nobody listens and everybody

 disagrees later on 


Father 

A banker provided by nature 


Criminal 

A person no different from the rest 

....except that he/she got caught

Boss* 

Someone who is early when you are late 

and late when you are early


Politician

One who shakes your hand 

before elections and your 

Confidence after 


HOSPITAL 

An institution  which holds 

your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 


Smile 

A curve that can set

 a lot of things straight. 


Office 

A place where you can relax 

after your strenuous home life. 



Yawn 

The only time some married 

men ever get to open their mouth. 


Etc 

A sign to make others believe

 that you know more than

 you actually do. 


Committee

Individuals who can do nothing

 individually and sit to decide that 

nothing can be done together. 



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